vorfreudde:

you know how people lose their virginity, im like gaining it

"We’re not the new anything. We’re the first 5 Seconds of Summer."

— Luke Hemmings (x)

leeeeverett:

today these two kids in my math class were hitting each other with pencils and my teacher glared at them and said “could you try to be a little more mature?”

one of them screamed “TAXES” and punched the other kid in the face

vodkacupcakes:

Do you ever lay in bed and crave someones arms around you but like its not gonna happen so you want to explode

cokeflow:

make your child stop screaming or I will

captain-jack-hardness:

i hate black girls

the sentence above is racist, but if you replace black girls with white girls you get a funny 1000+ note text post instead

tupacabra:

shampoo for my real friends

real poo for my sham friends

dashdrive:

if I lie here

if I just lay here

I’ll probably fall asleep so leave me alone

cnnbreakingofficial:

omg mom it’s JUST METH calm down

HW